Adventures in online dating

After my marriage ended, I entered the dating pool for the first time since the 1980's.  My adventures so far: 

The first one:  He was half an hour late to meet me for a drink.  He explained that he had not expected city traffic at rush hour to be bad.  He was in his late 50's.  I asked him why he had never been married.  He said he had proposed to two different women and been turned down.  He told me long, long, long stories about those women.  I thought to myself that two girlfriends in almost 40 years of adult life was not much of a track record, but I didn't say that out loud because I had completely lost interest.  The bartender was nice, and good-looking -- amazing arms, works of art, really -- so the evening was not a total loss. The end.

The second one:  We hooked up.  It was just okay, but I thought there was potential for it to get better.  I asked him if he would be interested in reading my smutty novel about naked sex slaves, Mindgames.  He said no. We hooked up again.  Not much better.  I didn't hear from him for a while and figured he had ghosted me, no big deal.  After a couple of weeks he sent me an email saying that he couldn't see me again, or read my book, because he had gone into treatment for his sex addiction.  Whatever.  He emailed me about six months later saying he was all better -- better enough to have sex with me, but not to read my book -- and did I want to hook up again.  I responded that friends with benefits required actual friendship, not just booty calls.  He told me I was unreasonable.  The end.

The third one:  He told me before we met in person that he would not read Mindgames because he had a sex addiction.  We got together as friends a couple of times.  Now we are Facebook friends.  The end.

The fourth one:  Married.  The end.

The fifth one:  He wanted to hook up with me but before we did berated me for agreeing because premarital sex would be inappropriate.  The end.

The sixth one:  We had a coffee date.  I sent him an email the next day saying I had enjoyed meeting him.  I did not hear from him for a while and figured he had ghosted me.  No big deal.  A week later he sent me an email berating me for not checking up on him when he had not responded.  The end.

The seventh one:  Told me he will not use condoms but that he only has sex with people who are part of his community and are therefore disease-free.  Also, if I get pregnant (at my age, ha!) I should just trust him that he will take care of it.  The end.

The eighth one:  Stay tuned . . .