Spoiler: in modern romance The Wall of Winnipeg and Me by Mariana Zapata the hero is not a serial killer

 

The Wall of Winnipeg and Me by Mariana Zapata is an engaging, slow-burn, marriage of convenience romance.  It's a sports story that doesn't dwell too much on sports, or require the reader to find sportsball interesting (thank goodness).  It's also a book that takes work seriously.  The effort hero Aiden has to put in to stay in shape for his job as a pro football player is given more attention than the effort heroine Vanessa has to put in to build her graphic design business, but there is at least an acknowledgment that building a business requires dedication.

At the beginning of the action Vanessa is quitting her job as Aiden's personal assistant (really chef, housekeeper, social media manager, and personal assistant) so she can focus on her graphic design work.  Aiden tracks her down and begs her to stay, then asks her to be his green card wife.  (He's Canadian.  Also a huge football star who is filthy rich.  He would not have any problem getting citizenship, or at least staying in the US.  But that's a quibble.)  They marry.  And etc.  

My main issue with the book is that I was worried about Vanessa for most of it.  Aiden doesn't really speak.  He's more of a grunter.  This means that for the two years Vanessa worked for him he communicated with her minimally.  After they marry he speaks more -- meaning once a week or so he will throw a sentence at her.  This is enough to win her heart.

I was worried about Vanessa because the thing about people who don't communicate is that it is really easy to project onto them what you want them to be.  What does she know about Aiden?  Is he a smart guy who prefers his own thoughts to communicating with the outside world, or is he dumb as a rock and has no thoughts?  Who knows?  Is he shy?  Morose?  Snobby?  Unhappy?  Maybe intellectually disabled in some way (post-concussive syndrome, maybe)?  

It turns out Aiden is smart, morose, and . . . I dunno, not really unhappy, just too focused on his career to ever talk to people, but that deep, deep, deep down inside he has a heart of gold and loves puppy dogs.  To which I say:  Vanessa got lucky that he's not a serial killer. 

In modern romance The Love Plot by Samantha Young, a commitment-phobe heroine is saved by the love of a good man

 

The plot of many romances revolves around a poor but virtuous heroine reforming a rich, handsome cad who never intended to settle down.  In modern romance The Love Plot, writer Samantha Young turns this trope sideways.  Heroine Star is far from a cad -- she is all about spreading good cheer like a Christmas elf.  She is virtuous, loves children and animals, etc..  But she has no desire to make a monogamous commitment to anyone.

Hero Rafe is a hot, rich serial monogamist.  Yeah, he comes off as a bit of a jerk at first, but that's only because he's shy.  

Star and Rafe begin a fake dating relationship to get Rafe's family off his back.  Soon they fall in love for real.  

Pretty standard plot, but Young does a lot with it.  Star has an intriguing back story.  She was raised by parents who did not believe in monogamy, or in parenting.  She absorbed their drifter ways and strings together a couple of part time jobs as a character actor at kids' birthday parties and as a line sitter for people who don't want to wait in long lines.

Through the course of the book, mere proximity to Rafe and his rich and traditional but kind family is enough to make Star want to change.  Maybe monogamy isn't so bad.  Maybe she should get serious about a career.  She goes a little overboard in trying to fit in with Rafe's family's expectations, but she course-corrects.  

I liked Star's character growth, but I also really, really wanted her to go to therapy.  I say this as someone who is therapy-neutral at best. But I don't think that someone who has grown up with the type of trauma Star has grown up with can just get over it and completely change her life without more help than a guy who accepts her and all her glorious quirkiness.

Rafe is far less interesting than Star.  His only character traits are that he is a hot veterinarian who, as I said, accepts Star just the way she is.  

The other quibble I have with this book is that Star has exactly three friends and they are in a poly relationship with each other.  Star and they consider each other family.  But how is she not a fourth wheel?   It's just not  a dynamic that makes any sense to me.

Minor complaints aside, this book was overall a well-written charmer and a good read. 

 

Review of modern romance / biology textbook Business or Pleasure by Rachel Lynn Solomon

 

 Business or Pleasure by Rachel Lynn Solomon is a book that doesn't really know what it wants to be.  A romance, sure.  But also, a detailed primer on female anatomy.  Did you know that only a third of the clitoris is external?  Solomon takes several long detours from the story for expository speeches about this.  (Side note: I'm all for learning about female anatomy.  I highly recommend Vagina Obscura by Rachel Gross.)  And, kinda sorta a book about what it's like to have obsessive-compulsive disorder, although we never really get any insight into that because hero Finn, who suffers from OCD, mentions it in passing but has it almost completely under control with medication and never talks in any detail about his life before that.

Speaking of Finn, this would have been a much more interesting book if it had been from his perspective.  Heroine Chandler, at the end of the day, just does not offer much as a character.  She's a former journalism student and current celebrity memoir ghost writer who has never left her home town, even for a vacation.  (Because, she explains, her parents were hippies who had traveled so much before she was born that they didn't feel like they needed to go anywhere after she was born.  Uh, sure . . . )  She would really prefer to be a novelist but the thought of failure is just too, too scary.  In the middle of the book she has a panic attack, even though she has never mentioned that she suffers from them and never suffers from another one.  And, oh, yeah, she minored in Human Sexuality or something so she can give long discourses on the clitoris.  

Finn, on the other hand . . . Finn is a minor celebrity who a few years earlier had starred in a Buffy the Vampire Slayer-like show.  (Only it's set in college, which makes it super unique, according to the author.)  As mentioned above, Finn suffers from OCD but has gotten it under control for the most part.  I'd like to know a whole lot more about what that was like for him.  

Also, even though Finn has had at least one relationship with a woman that lasted three years, he is terrible in bed.  We meet the woman, and she seems cool enough, and Finn seems like someone who wants to be good at sex, so how could this have happened?  Why did the woman put up with three years of bad sex?  Why has it never occurred to Finn to ask his partners what they like?  What is the story here?

And, why do both Finn and Chandler have so few friends?  Chandler's best friend is her cousin, and there's a guy from college she's still kind of hung up on.  She has no other social life.  Finn has been making the Comic Con circuit for years, but other than people from his own show seems to have developed no relationships with the other panelists, who he must see over and over again.

This is a book that tries, and fails, to be more than it is. That said, the germ of the story -- ghostwriter and guy she is ghostwriting for have hot sex and fall in love while going to various Comic Cons around the country -- is a good one, and when the book focuses on the story it's pretty good.  But I could do without the biology lectures and the mental health virtue signalling. 

Thanks once again to ELust

 

 

For including my story This is Our Life in issue 172.   

Lots of other great links in the issue, including:

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Girl On The Net Practical sex tips: blankets, playlists and banishing shame!

Spices of Lust How To Use A Hismith Sex Machine (Solo + Couples)

Sex Work

Sex Worker Search E-Commerce for Sex Workers

Tulsi Tamora Is it normal to feel nervous when seeing a companion?

Darla Blake From the bizarre to the banal, here’s some things you might not know about me!

The Silky Masseuse Setting Good Financial Boundaries

The Lady Phoenix The Boss Calls the Shots

Catherine Schneider Hentai BDSM

Product Reviews

Morgan Destera Toy Test - Funzze.com Vibrating Anal Beads

Liz Black X Review of the Hermosa: A High-Quality Torso Sex Doll for Men by XTorso.com

Oz Bigdownunder Silver Surfer. Funzze Double-ended Stainless Steel Dildo Review

Erotic Non Fiction

Kristina J Exploring the Depths of Mindful Intimacy: A Guide to Enriched Connections

Beyond Nonbinary Finding my Womanhood as I Bleed

Charli and Margeaux How To Eat My Pussy

The Disorderly House Men Sharing Their Wives

Musings of a Switch Sexually Daring

Erotic Fiction

Well Written Smut Co. This is Our Life

Jerusalem Mortimer Bedroom Eyes 34

Fern River Van reminisces

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

Super Smash Cache 3 Emotional Needs of Sext Chat & Femdom Enthusiasts

Blogging

the barefoot sub Airport Exposure With SWL

Writing about writing

Ramone Quides Three Years In and Loving Life

I read modern romance The Love Wager by Lynn Painter so you don't have to

 

 In The Love Wager by Lynn Painter, heroine Hallie Piper and hero Jack Marshall meet cute at the wedding of Jack's sister, get very drunk, and have incredibly hot sex.  Hallie sneaks out because she's embarrassed.  She and Jack bump into each other again on a dating site.  Even though they already know that they are fully sexually compatible, and they quickly realize that they really like each other, they decide not to date each other because . . . otherwise there wouldn't be a book?  No good reason is ever given for this.  (My daughter suggested a back story where they found out their mothers had dated each other in high school so there's some weirdness there.  That would have worked.)  As a result the entire book is a complete snoozefest.  It was a chore to turn the pages.  Oh, Jack's in love with Hallie but isn't telling her.  Oh, Hallie's in love with Jack, but isn't telling him.  Oh, they're hooking up but both are pretending they're not in a relationship with each other.

This generic non-story naturally exists in a generic world.  About halfway through the book the city where it is set was mentioned.  Topeka, maybe?  It doesn't matter; all we learn is that it's a place where with just a little effort Hallie can afford a nice apartment.  Hallie and Jack both have pretty high powered careers, but no mention is ever made of the long hours they must put in or the ambition that must drive them.   

Give this one a pass.