Snow White and the Stupid Dwarves: Review of Regency Romance A Duchess a Day by Charis Michaels

 

 

 

The first 90 percent of A Duchess a Day by Charis Michaels was a perfectly fine Regency romance.  Heroine Helena is engaged against her will to a nasty duke whose family will obtain a piece of land that will further its shipping interests when they marry.  Hero Declan is hired by the duke's family to make sure Helena does not run away.  Sparks ensue, My Bodyguard, etc., etc.

The duchess a day referred to in the title is Helena's plan to find another woman for the nasty duke to fall in love with so he will break the engagement.  This is an okay plan, I guess, as middling Regency romance plans go.

Out of the blue, the resolution to Helena's dilemma is blindingly stupid writing.  It undoes the duke's characterization throughout the whole book and is dependent on sheer luck.   

SPOILERS AHEAD

There is a subplot in the book that seems intriguing, again until the blindingly stupid end.  Someone wearing a black cloak is following Helena and Declan around and spying on them. In private stables.  At a country fair miles from town.  Everywhere.  The duke at one point reveals both humanity and his knowledge of the relationship between Helena and Declan, so he is a likely candidate.  So is Helena's sister, who we are told, but not really shown, is perceptive.  Or could it be the duke's wicked uncle, who hired Declan?  Or someone else hired by him?

The answer is none of the above.  The answer is -- again, blindingly stupid.  Out of courtesy I won't reveal it here -- but I promise that no reader will see it coming because there is no groundwork whatsoever laid for it in the book. 

I did not realize until I read the author's note at the end that she was modeling her story on Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.  Huh?  Yes, Declan is called The Huntsman, and there's another character with a fairy tale like name, and either the narrator or Helena refers to the girls she tries to set the duke up with by the names of the dwarves (like, Sneezy for the one with allergies) -- but  names aside, none of the plot tracks the Snow White story.  Helena's dilemma has nothing in common with Snow White's dilemma.  She owns an apple orchard, which I guess could make her the wicked queen, but she doesn't poison anyone or harm anyone in any way. And the dwarves in this novel are non-entities who barely interact with any of the main characters.

I honestly don't believe this plot can be saved. A more creative author might have started with this germ of an idea and taken it somewhere worthwhile.  Michaels did not manage it.  

Note from Jasmine Gold: As the name of this blog indicates, I write erotica. Check out my dark, dystopian novel about naked sex slaves, Mindgames. Your darkest fantasies, with a phenomenal plot and characters you will come to think of as beloved friends. Available on Kindle and Kindle Unlimited  and in paperback.  Or read my book of short stories about hot, consensual sex, The Mature Woman's Guide to Desire, available on Kindle and Kindle Unlimited.

Review of moving grownup romance Maybe She'll Stay by Robyn Lucas

 

 

Before I begin this review: on this blog I try to alternate my own mostly smutty writing with reviews of romance novels and other romance pop culture.  Right now I'm working on a story about a casual D/s relationship that is moving to the next level -- Tom pushes Ginny a bit too far, and as a result the tables are turned.  It's loosely related to my story My First Submissive Adventure, which you can read here.  When I thought I was wrapping up this chapter I realized I was only halfway through, so it's taking a bit longer than I'd hoped.  Watch this space.

In the meantime, I have unpublished romance novel reviews piling up, which seems silly. Especially because today I finished Maybe She'll Stay by Robyn Lucas and I feel like this is a book the world should know about.  

Although in my title I called this book a grownup romance, the romance is really besides the point.  

Heroine Nancy is a 40ish woman, psychology professor, thrice divorced, commitment-phobe, takes no shit from anyone. Despite hiding it from herself and others, Nancy has a good heart.  She helps a student in a very bad situation, and loves her best friend's kids.  Surprisingly, she is even good with babies.   

We slowly learn more about Nancy at the same time the people around her do.  She has hidden her past so completely that she decorates her house with frames holding the sample photos they came with. 

It turns out, her mother is a narcissist -- not in the casual sense of selfish and likes to talk about herself, but in the DSM-V diagnosis sense.  (If you want to know more about what that means, I recommend these videos.)  Her father is in prison for armed robbery.  She is estranged from them both.

When Nancy learns that her father is dying, her carefully curated life starts to unravel.  She is forced to interact with her mother, and face her father's mortality.  Her family secrets come to light, as do the lies she has told people who believed they were close to her.  She realizes how empty her life is, which gives her the opportunity to fill it, if she can find the courage.

Yeah, there's a guy in the story.  His name is Ashish and he's pretty perfect.  He's hot and smart and gainfully employed and helps everyone out.  He even funded a high school project to grow food to feed the poor.  He never complains about how badly Nancy treats him.  Apparently he sees her true heart.  

It would have been a better book if Ashish were a little more layered. That said, I cried all through the last third of the book, as Nancy navigates her relationships with pretty much everyone in her life and comes to accept that, despite what her mother says, she deserves love.  So does this book.  

Note from Jasmine Gold: As the name of this blog indicates, I write erotica. Check out my dark, dystopian novel about naked sex slaves, Mindgames. Your darkest fantasies, with a phenomenal plot and characters you will come to think of as beloved friends. Available on Kindle and Kindle Unlimited  and in paperback.  Or read my book of short stories about hot, consensual sex, The Mature Woman's Guide to Desire, available on Kindle and Kindle Unlimited.

 

Review of poor little rich boy modern romance You're a Mean One, Matthew Prince by Timothy Janovsky

 

 

You're a Mean One, Matthew Prince by Timothy Janovsky is the story of a poor little rich boy, the titular Matthew, who is exiled to his grandparents' house in a stand-in for Northampton, Massachusetts.  Although he is 21, he comes to the town with the emotional maturity of . . . I was going to say a 5 year old, but I actually hate it when people say little kids aren't emotionally mature.  While they have not yet learned to master their emotions, most young children want to be kind and feel bad when they fall down on the job. So let's say the emotional maturity of a Hallmark movie heroine in the first act.  

The action of the book takes place over the next two weeks.  During this period Matthew goes from being a self-absorbed, selfish, materialist unemployed college dropout snob, to being an emotionally mature, loving, helpful, kind, competent business-owner.  His parents, who are responsible for his loutishness, undergo a similar transformation in the same time period.

Obviously this is silly.  I appreciated that Matthew went to therapy, acknowledged and began to deal with his anxiety disorder, and did some hard work to make himself worthy of Hector, the hot, emotionally available, smart, hardworking and otherwise perfect love interest.  

Although I make fun of the impossibly short time period of Matthew's transformation, the book was sweet and engaging.  It did leave some open questions, though.  For one, Matthew's grandparents are lovely storybook grandparents.  How did they manage to raise a selfish loser like Matthew's mother?  And will they really not accept any financial assistance from her even though she is rolling in dough that she earned honestly (by being a JK Rowling-like author, minus the transphobia)?  That seems, well, crazy.  And what will become of the grandmother's bookstore over the long-term?  In the book Matthew raises some money to keep it from failing, but without a business plan that's clearly a stopgag measure.  

And speaking of stopgag measures,   SPOILER HERE

 

 

 

Matthew's mother ends up with the Christmas tree salesman who was her high school sweetheart.  Gag me.   

Note from Jasmine Gold: As the name of this blog indicates, I write erotica. Check out my dark, dystopian novel about naked sex slaves, Mindgames. Your darkest fantasies, with a phenomenal plot and characters you will come to think of as beloved friends. Available on Kindle and Kindle Unlimited  and in paperback.  Or read my book of short stories about hot, consensual sex, The Mature Woman's Guide to Desire, available on Kindle and Kindle Unlimited.