Modern romance The Slowest Burn by Sarah Chamberlain hits all the tropes in the most excellent way

 

The Slowest Burn by Sarah Chamberlain includes these staples:

*    Enemies to lovers

*     Reality show competitor

*    Ghost writer

*    Great cook who lacks confidence

*    Restaurant chef

*    Opening a new restaurant

*    Opposites attract

*    Friends with benefits 

*    Fake relationship to real relationship

(It doesn't include a firefighter, despite its title.)

Each of these are standards for modern romance, and I have read books in the recent past that do these terribly.  

Not so here.  

The Slowest Burn is a lovely story that doesn't cheat.  Ellie is a young widow living in a guest house on the property of her late husband's parents, who she takes care of.  Kieran is a restaurant chef who suffers from ADHD and recently won a reality cooking show.  They both have difficult families of origin.  They are thrown together when Kieran's publisher assigns Ellie to ghost-write his cookbook.

These are some of the things I loved about this book:  

*    In Ellie's story, there's a vague foreboding that there are villains, but instead there are just complicated people.  Her ex-husband seems to have run her over with the force of his personality, but he was in no way abusive.  Her in-laws take advantage of her, but only because they are so deeply mourning the death of their son that they don't notice what they are doing to her.  Her brother is a bit of a loser, but has the capacity to grow up.  

*    Kieran is not overdone.  Yes, he has ADHD, which affects his life, but by the time the action of the book begins he has been dealing with it in an adult way for a long time.  He has been through therapy.  He stopped drinking (not that he was ever an alcoholic, but he was self-medicating).  

And, oh my god, I want a boyfriend like Kieran.  He thinks about Ellie. He thinks about the ways she would like him to treat her.  He thinks about what he can do to help her.  He is really, really good to her. 

Ellie has much more of a character arc than Kieran does.  In a lot of ways she has more to overcome.  And she recognizes that she needs therapy to help her do it.

If you read the reviews on this blog, you know that my kink (other than, you know, naked sex slaves) is specificity, and this book has that in spades.  We see how and why Kieran became a chef and how hard he works at it. We see how and why Ellie became a cook and a ghostwriter, and how hard she works at it.  We see them working really hard together to write the cookbook. There was not one time when I said, "Huh, this doesn't make sense" or "This is too easy," or "Why don't they worry about this?"  I believed every page of this book.

Chef's kiss.

I can't say that this romance was the best of the best.  Chamberlain's storytelling doesn't quite reach the heights that Alexis Hall or Ali Hazelwood reach when they are at the top of their games.  But she is really, really good, and I highly recommend this book.  

 

 

Note from Jasmine Gold: As the name of this blog indicates, I write erotica. Check out my dark, dystopian novel about naked sex slaves, Mindgames. Your darkest fantasies, with a phenomenal plot and characters you will come to think of as beloved friends. Available on Kindle and Kindle Unlimited  and in paperback.  Or read my book of short stories about hot, consensual sex, The Mature Woman's Guide to Desire, available on Kindle and Kindle Unlimited.

 

Modern romance Karaoke Queen by Dominic Lim is insulting to all kinds of people

 

 Lots of spoilers in this review. 

In Karaoke Queen, author Dominic Lim unintentionally insults:

*    Singers

*    Waiters

*    Drag queens

*    Bar owners

*    Restaurant owners

*   Young people trying to make it in an expensive city 

*    Young people in general 

*    People of an age where they really need to be planning for retirement 

How could a writer with obviously good intentions do this?  Based on his biography, it can't be ignorance, at least for several of these categories, so it must be laziness in writing.

The hero of the book is Rex, a Filipino-American who is one of the only men in the world (we are told) who can hit Mariah-Carey-esk high notes.  Rex had been attracted to drag from the time he was a boy, and as a young teen had a successful YouTube channel in which he sang in drag.  With the help of his mother and his drag-queen uncle, in high school he started performing at a drag club.  His first night there, when not performing on stage he helped the other queens as waitstaff at the club.   With no issues whatsoever.  Apparently it takes no training --none!-- to work in a crowded club.  You don't even need to know what your assigned tables are!  You just go out and do it!

After a hate crime Rex gave up his drag life for about ten years.  There is no mention that he did any type of singing during this time.  Indeed, he could not.  He keeps his drag persona a secret, but  his phenomenal voice is so unique that he would clearly be immediately recognized from his YouTube channel if he were ever to sing in public.  

Rex graduated college and is now working as an administrative assistant at a tech company.  Neither he nor his friends there ever need to do any work.  They take long lunches.  Nights and weekends are off.  Yet, Rex somehow manages to make enough money to buy a condo in the Bay Area.  Are you kidding me?  

He bumps into an old boyfriend who is managing a bar, and also is somehow completely in charge of it even though the owner is sitting right there.  The bar is not doing well.  Rex, who has no business experience whatsoever, comes up with ideas to turn the bar around and save the day.  Things like, replace the rusty unicorn statue (the bar is called The Pink Unicorn) (not, of course, to be confused with The Pink Pony Club) (God, I love that song) (Is it possible to not love that song?) with one that is not rusting.  Gosh, thank goodness Rex is here with his brilliant business sense.  (I might have suggested rebranding to The Rusty Unicorn, but that's just me.) 

One of Rex's ideas is that he will perform there as his long-lost alter ego drag queen.  Luckily, all his old dresses from when he was 17 still fit.  His body has not changed at all in ten years!  That's totally normal!

Also, luckily, he can just start singing as a soprano after having not done so for ten years, with no need to even warm up!  That can't possible hurt his vocal cords!  (This is the most egregious of Lim's lazy writing for me, because according to his bio he is an alum of the Oberlin Conservatory of Music and has sung with numerous professional choirs.  From his first voice teacher to -- everyone else who has ever done any serious singing -- I can't even.)  

But: there's a problem.  The old boyfriend, as well as Rex's father, do not know that he is into drag.  So Rex's love interest, Paolo, agrees to pretend that he is Regina, Rex's drag alter ego.  Paolo has never done drag before, but that's okay.  Rex spends several hours teaching Paolo how to dress and the mannerisms to use.  That's enough for anyone, right?  Right!

(The story gets really creepy here.  Rex had already started to fall for Paolo, but really starts to fall for him because they look so much alike.  Touching Paolo is like touching himself!  Ew.) 

 It turns out that the bar owner is actually the father of the manager, unbeknownst to the manager. But now that it is all out in the open.  The father tells the son he is giving the bar to him.  To his credit the son is like, why would I want your failing business?  Nobody asks what the father is going to live off of now. 

Rex now has to up his efforts to make the bar a going concern, so he coordinates a fundraiser for it.  The fundraiser consists in large part of charging a cover to get in to the bar!  Wow, he is so smart and creative!  The fundraiser does okay, but really does okay when Paolo's father contributes a huge amount so Paolo can buy the restaurant next door!  Even though the father had already refused to make a contribution!  (I kept wondering whether these businesses own their buildings or rent their space.  That would make a difference to the business plan.  Just saying.) 

And, it turns out it is super easy to make the brand new restaurant take off! And also, with one cash infusion the failing bar is now doing great!  Everything is great!  The world is such an easy place to live!  You can't tell me I'm wrong, look at this story!

I will add that in addition to how annoying I found the details of the story, I found the overall plot just unpleasant.  Much of it consists of Mrs. Doubtfire-like scenes of people racing in and out of drag to hide their their identities.  It was slapstick and stressful.   

I recommend skipping this one. 

Note from Jasmine Gold: As the name of this blog indicates, I write erotica. Check out my dark, dystopian novel about naked sex slaves, Mindgames. Your darkest fantasies, with a phenomenal plot and characters you will come to think of as beloved friends. Available on Kindle and Kindle Unlimited  and in paperback.  Or read my book of short stories about hot, consensual sex, The Mature Woman's Guide to Desire, available on Kindle and Kindle Unlimited.