Is ZomRomCom by Olivia Dade romantasy, or just a vampire romance with terrible pacing?

 

I'm not entirely clear on what romantasy is. I assumed it was Lord of the Rings but either Frodo or Sam is a girl, or they're both textually gay, or something.  But maybe all the paranormal romances I've picked up over the years when the library has been bare of new Regency romances have been romantasy all along?  

 According to Google, or the Google / AI mix that comes up now when you try to google something:

While a vampire romance can be considered romantasy, the distinction lies in the emphasis: traditional paranormal romance focuses on the romance with supernatural elements, whereas romantasy prioritizes world-building, politics, and epic quests alongside the romance.

The world-building of ZomRomCom by Olivia Dade is half-hearted at best.  It's set in an alternate reality where zombies and various supernatural beings exist, but also it's more or less 2025 in our world, except that people casually refer to "gods" and "hells" instead of to God and Hell.  The zombies are trapped in a city's walled innermost circle, and then there are walled concentric rings around it where some people live -- although most moved away after the original Zombie apocalypse, before the Zombies were trapped in the innermost circle.  Got it?

SPOILERS  

Now the Zombies have escaped.  They are running around the concentric neighborhoods, slurping brains (or not, because it's not clear whether or not these poor starving creatures ever succeed in finding a meal).  Heroine Edie, who lives in the first ring outside the zombie circle, decides to try to save her neighbors by warning them. She starts with her next door neighbor, hero Max, who, it turns out, is a hot vampire.  And also a TikTok fashion influencer who hawks uncomfortable underwear.  (For some reason, since he's crazy rich.)  Max reluctantly agrees to help Edie, because he's been in stalkery luurve with her for years, and maybe also because he actually cares?

So Edie and Max set out to warn people in the most desultory way possible.  There's so much -- SO MUCH -- hanging around.  Can't leave while it's dark, might as well have sex!  Oops, can't leave while we're hungry!  When they do eventually go on their brief excursions, they warn a few people -- apparently everyone else has already been eaten?  Or is hiding?  Or the neighborhood is so empty there's no one to save?  It's all very unclear.  And then Edie and Max are tired again, or it's dark, or they're hungry -- time to go back and rest and eat and have sex!  

Along their very slow attempts to save people they meet some charming counterfeiters who are also amazing cooks who live in an abandoned mall and are utterly unconcerned about the second coming of the zombie apocalypse.  And a group of tween girls who are also unconcerned and apparently have no parents and they are so upbeat and want to help!  Then there is more eating and resting and fucking (but quietly because the tween girls are around).  

Eventually, after who knows how much death and destruction (if any) has been caused by the escaped zombies, there is a battle.  It might be dangerous!  But fighting is so tiring!  

Now the battle has ended but there is a bigger one to come.  In the next book, which will star different characters from this book.  I'm not sure which ones because I  couldn't keep them straight.

I was reading this book at the same time that I was watching The Last of Us, a Zombie apocalypse TV show that is intense and amazing and scary as fuck.  I would sooth myself after the episodes by reading a few pages from Zom RomCom, which allowed me to fall into a peaceful sleep, just like our main characters after (and sometimes before) fucking.  

 

Note from Jasmine Gold: As the name of this blog indicates, I write erotica. Check out my dark, dystopian novel about naked sex slaves, Mindgames. Your darkest fantasies, with a phenomenal plot and characters you will come to think of as beloved friends. Available on Kindle and Kindle Unlimited  and in paperback.  Or read my book of short stories about hot, consensual sex, The Mature Woman's Guide to Desire, available on Kindle and Kindle Unlimited.

Review of charming but odd Regency romance Lady Like by Mackenzi Lee

 

I was pretty sure I was going to hate Regency romance Lady Like by Mackenzi Lee when I started reading it.  For one thing, it's written in present tense, for no apparent reason, which is incredibly distracting.  For another, very early on heroine Harry steals a dog.  Yes, she just outright steals a dog.  A well-fed, generally well-behaved dog that is obviously not a stray.  No owner comes looking for him.  We don't know why.  Yes, I am obsessed with this.  Don't steal dogs, okay?

I also found Harry's career incredibly annoying.  She is a Shakespearean actress in an all-lesbian troupe.  She apparently always gets the lead roles.  She likes and understands Shakespeare's plays and has integrated them into her thinking about life.  But she is a terrible actress, who despite having been in the troupe for years has never gotten better.  In fact, the whole troupe is widely acknowledged as awful. Yet the theater seems to be doing just fine. It has a decent audience every night, and this does not appear to be some kind of Rocky Horror situation where people attend to enjoy a camp fellowship.  I have enough theater people in my life to find this incredibly annoying and also wildly stupid.

Now that I have those things off my chest: this book told a good story.  Heroine Emily is in London hoping to find a husband so she can get out of an engagement to a horrible man.  She has a meet cute with a duke, who is Harry's good friend.  Although Harry is gay she also wants to marry the duke, because she needs to marry well in order to come into her inheritance.  Harry's brother meets Emily and decides that she and Harry would balance each other out and be good influences on each other, so he suggests that they hang out.  Plot plot plot HEA.

What I really liked about this book is that as you're reading it you think you know how it's going to end -- how Harry and Emily will manage to have a lesbian relationship while navigating the realities of Regency England.  But it doesn't end that way at all. The ending is a little pat, sure, but very, very uplifting.  

Now, if Harry would just give the damn dog back to it's actual owner . . . 

Note from Jasmine Gold: As the name of this blog indicates, I write erotica. Check out my dark, dystopian novel about naked sex slaves, Mindgames. Your darkest fantasies, with a phenomenal plot and characters you will come to think of as beloved friends. Available on Kindle and Kindle Unlimited  and in paperback.  Or read my book of short stories about hot, consensual sex, The Mature Woman's Guide to Desire, available on Kindle and Kindle Unlimited.

 

Thank you ELust, for once again gathering together so much great smut and other sex writing!

 

 

Writing  can be lonely work, and writing smut can be very lonely.  There are no conferences for people who write dystopian fiction about naked sex slaves.  Some people are kind enough (or, very occasionally, mean enough) to rate or review my work, and some people reach out to me, using their own pseudonyms, which I appreciate as far as it goes. 

But then there's Oz Bigdownunder, who  gathers together some of the best erotica and articles about sex and links to them at his monthly magazine, Elust. Knowing that he will provide free publicity for my stories inspires me to get back to work (although in all honesty I haven't finished anything new in a while -- my real life, which has no naked sex slaves in it, interferes).  

The latest issue of ELust, 191, is excellent.  It includes the following:  

Sex News

The Sex Shed, The Sex Shed is looking for brand ambassadors & reviewers!   (Note from JG: Wouldn't you love to be a sex toy influencer?) 

Erotic Non-Fiction

Morgan Destera, What Can I Say…

Tantric Connections, The Longing Beneath Success: Remembering How To Feel

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Tantric Sexual Healing, Tantric Embodiment and the Alchemy of Power: Transforming Desire into Collective Awakening

Kristina J, Let’s Talk About Touch (and Why Communication Is The Sexiest Thing You Can Do)

Awakening Your Inner Essence, The Secret to Lasting Longer Isn’t Control — It’s Connection

Erotic Fiction

B.R.Saiph, Locktober Reward

Jerusalem Mortimer, In the Realm of the Sensei - Prologue 17

Jasmine Gold, Opening chapters of Mindgames, a dark dystopian novel about naked sex slaves  (Note from JG:  You asked for it, you got it -- sample my naked sex slave smut for free!) 

Fern River Club, After the Come-In (Part 1)

Product Reviews

Spices of Lust, Womanizer Peach Review  (Note from JG:  I recently bought a vibrator - not this one -- that I hated.  It had only one setting, which was way too intense for me.  Vibrators are not cheap, and vibrator reviews are key to not wasting your money.)  

Oz Bigdownunder, Nothosaur Avoyo - Centaur Horse Ejaculating Dildo - Review  (Note from JG:  Now that's a review, exactly what i would expect from our hero Oz.)  

Sex Work

Sex worker Search, A Guide to Selfie Photo-Shoots For Sex Workers

Lita Mackenzie, An Imperfect Quick Guide to Finding – and Verifying- a Companion

Ulla Burns, No Safeword for the Soul -Maternal Domination without a script

Sierra Skyy, Feminism and Sex Work; Have We Lost the Plot?

Elizabeth of London, A naughty Nurse

Hellga, Sit On My Face and Tell Me That You Love Me

Book and Movies

Liz Black, Two New Bimbo Releases Are Here - Two Series Completed

History of BDSM, Nine and a Half Weeks (1978)  (Note from JG: Excellent review)

Remember the Zipless Fuck? Modern romance How to Sell a Romance by Alexa Martin will remind you

 

In a book published in 1973 called Fear of Flying, author Erica Jong gave the world the concept of the zipless fuck -- you meet a hot stranger, you have amazing sex with them, there are no repercussions.  Zipless because in this fantasy the sex is so easy that there is no fiddling with the flies on jeans; clothes just fall away.  

SPOILERS:

Towards the end of the novel the narrator, protagonist Isadora, is on a train, sees a hot man, and has an opportunity for a zipless fuck -- and she is horrified.  Who would want to have sex with a complete stranger without any conversation?  It is scary and gross.  

How to Sell a Romance, by Alexa Martin, begins with a zipless fuck and ends SPOILERS

 

with a zipless happily ever after.   

Heroine Emerson goes to a crowded rooftop bar after attending a conference for a fictional MLM skincare company.  (For the uninitiated, MLMs, or multi-level marketing companies, are pyramid schemes aimed at women who invest a lot of money in products but can only make the money back if they recruit other women to sell the products.)  Emerson doesn't know anyone at the bar and is planning to leave but manages to snag a table.  Suddenly an impossibly handsome man asks if he can sit with her. They exchange a few words.  She asks if they can go to his hotel room.  He enthusiastically agrees.  She hasn't had sex is years and he has the biggest cock she has ever seen.  They don't need to ask each other what they like, sex-wise, because I guess they can read each other's minds or because in this world everyone likes the same things so you don't need to communicate.  The magic giant cock brings only pleasure.  

Things go south the next morning when it turns out that magic-cock-man, a/k/a hero Lucas, is writing an expose on the MLM that Emerson is joining.  Apparently in this world no one has ever heard of or researched MLMs because Emerson is shocked -- shocked, I tell you! -- that anyone would dare question the business savvy of investing money she doesn't have in overpriced skincare products in the hope of recruiting other people to sell them.

But, wait, there's more!  Emerson is a sweet as sugar kindergarten teacher who has been recruited into the nefarious MLM by her boss, the principal.  We learn over the course of the book that the principal spends all of her principal-ing time recruiting teachers to the MLM, and firing those who refuse to be recruited or who quit.  I guess the school runs itself, despite what must be incredible turnover?  

And --  you could not have seen this one coming! -- Lucas's daughter is placed into Emerson's kindergarten class.  And, Lucas's ex-wife, mother of Moppet (™) is also in the MLM and is good friends with the principal.  

At any point does anyone in this book say, it is inappropriate for a principal to run an elementary school as a front for an MLM?  At any point in this book does anyone say a kindergarten teacher should not be having sex with the father of a student?  No! and No!  Well, okay, the principal gets fired in the end, not for running the school as a front for an MLM but for getting mad at Emerson for secretly recording their conversations (which is definitely illegal in some states, FYI).  And everyone agrees that Emerson should be able to continue to have sex with Lucas and that Moppet (™) should not have to switch classes.  Yay for the HEA!  

Note from Jasmine Gold: As the name of this blog indicates, I write erotica. Check out my dark, dystopian novel about naked sex slaves, Mindgames. Your darkest fantasies, with a phenomenal plot and characters you will come to think of as beloved friends. Available on Kindle and Kindle Unlimited  and in paperback.  Or read my book of short stories about hot, consensual sex, The Mature Woman's Guide to Desire, available on Kindle and Kindle Unlimited.

 

 

The Unlikely Pursuit of Mary Bennet by Lindz McLeod manages to make both Pride and Prejudice and Regency lesbian love boring

 

The Unlikely Pursuit of Mary Bennet by Lindz McLeod is not the first fanfic book to come out recently that stars Mary Bennet, the annoying middle sister in Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice.  Although I had some issues with the first book about Mary, The Other Bennet Sister by Janice Hadlow, it seems like a masterpiece compared to McLeod's book.

The Other Bennet Sister was true to the Pride and Prejudice world and its characters.  I believed the backstory Hadlow created for Mary as the overlooked and socially awkward but brilliant teen who grew into an adult finding her place in society.  While that book didn't stick the landing, there was nothing about Mary that didn't make sense from her character and circumstances in Austen's work.

In The Other Bennet Sister, as part of her travels Mary visits Charlotte, her sister Elizabeth's best friend, who in Pride and Prejudice had married the very annoying  Mr. Collins.  Mary develops an unlikely but completely platonic friendship with him.  He is lonely in his marriage and is the first person to notice and encourage Mary's intellectual pursuits.  Charlotte, concerned about Mary's effect on her relationship with Mr. Collins, sends her packing.

In The Unlikely Pursuit of Mary Bennet, as the book opens Mr. Collins has just died.  Charlotte has lost the secure future that her marriage promised.  She asks Elizabeth to visit, but Elizabeth sends Mary in her place.  There is frisson.  Charlotte discovers that lesbians exist and that she is one and that Mary is one. A plot that involves much too much discussion of the secret messages conveyed in flowers ensues, and then HEA.

The Mary in this book is not the Mary in Pride and Prejudice.  She is a dull, nice, somehow rich girl with very little personality.  Charlotte was not well enough developed in Pride and Prejudice for the reader to say whether she is the same character as in McLeod's version, but it is impossible to imagine Austen creating a character who is so bland.  (Again with the flowers.)  Her hero's journey -- spoilers if you care -- is that she is hired by a rich gay man to be his gardener, even though she has never done a  day's work in her life and really is unqualified to care for his greenhouses, and then he makes her his heir, and then she wears a pretty dress and reconciles with Mary who she luurves.  

As I wrote here, I found Pride and Prejudice hard going when I first tried to read it.  McLeod's book is harder, and unlike with Pride and Prejudice repeated attempts are unlikely to make it easier.   

Note from Jasmine Gold: As the name of this blog indicates, I write erotica. Check out my dark, dystopian novel about naked sex slaves, Mindgames. Your darkest fantasies, with a phenomenal plot and characters you will come to think of as beloved friends. Available on Kindle and Kindle Unlimited  and in paperback.  Or read my book of short stories about hot, consensual sex, The Mature Woman's Guide to Desire, available on Kindle and Kindle Unlimited.

I am mostly here for modern romance Here for the Wrong Reasons by Annabel Paulsen and Lydia Wang

 

 

I went into modern romance Here for the Wrong Reasons by Annabel Paulsen and Lydia Wang with some trepidation.  First, it's yet another romance set on a reality TV show.  Second, it is jointly written, which is the next thing to being written by committee.  Third, we are told on the first page that the Bachelor (er, Romantic) is the show's "first Ashkenazi Jewish Romantic."  What does this even mean?  That the show has already had a Sephardic bachelor?  Or a Mizrahi bachelor?  Nobody talks like this.  And, it's never a plot point.  Josh has no conversations with any of the contestants (none of whom appear to be Jewish of any variety) about what their religious differences might mean for a relationship.  Or whether anyone believes in God.  Or in what religion they will raise their children.  When the main characters meet Josh's family there is no discussion of religion.  Josh doesn't wear a yarmulke.  He doesn't keep the sabbath.  He doesn't keep kosher.  So what exactly is the point here?

That said, once I got over these hurdles, the book is charming.  Heroine Krystin is a literal rodeo queen -- like, she's been crowned the rodeo queen of Montana (or maybe Wyoming? A square state), and we see how hard she works on her riding skills, which I appreciate.  At the beginning of the book she has not realized she is a lesbian, although on some deeply subconscious level she may know it, and she has come on the show to find true love.

Heroine Lauren is a closeted lesbian.  She is an influencer.  She has come on the show to increase her follower count.  (Weird glitch in the matrix: At the beginning of the book she is a moderately successful influencer -- and we are told she has around 40,000 followers.  That seems pretty damn low to me.  But what do I know?  I hover around 4,500 on Twitter, of which at least ten are real people and not bots.)

Anyhoo, they meet, they mud wrestle, Krystin saves Lauren from a runaway horse, kissy kissy, HEA.  The plot is slight but the book is engagingly written, and I enjoyed it.  

Note from Jasmine Gold: As the name of this blog indicates, I write erotica. Check out my dark, dystopian novel about naked sex slaves, Mindgames. Your darkest fantasies, with a phenomenal plot and characters you will come to think of as beloved friends. Available on Kindle and Kindle Unlimited  and in paperback.  Or read my book of short stories about hot, consensual sex, The Mature Woman's Guide to Desire, available on Kindle and Kindle Unlimited.

Unromance by Erin Connor is an excellent author's-wish-fulfilment modern romance

 

Unromance by Erin Connor is not the first modern romance I've read recently about a romance writer (or other writer) who dates a celebrity.  Despite its common wish-fulfilment-for-the-author plot, Unromance is charming and engaging.

Heroine Sawyer is a romance writer with writer's block brought on by a bad breakup.  She has a meet-cute with hero Mason, a famous actor who is currently in the tabloids for getting dumped, again.  After a one-night stand, they bump into each other and decide they can help each other out -- by reenacting all the biggest romance tropes from romcoms and not falling for each other.  Spoiler: it doesn't work.

But to get it to not work, Sawyer and Mason each have to realize that they need to work on themselves before they can be in a successful relationship.  Sweetly, they each find help from exes who are willing to tell them the truth about themselves.  Sawyer needs to find the courage to share more of herself.  Mason has to find the wisdom to back off.  I loved how their character development meshed.

The only thing that didn't make much sense to me about this book was Sawyer's devotion to staying in Chicago -- an important plot point because Mason needs to move to LA for work.  Sawyer is not from Chicago, she doesn't have many friends there, she is self-employed and works from home, and I never got the sense that there was anything particularly compelling to her about the city.  She just kept saying, "My life is here."  Maybe?  But this was a conflict that added nothing to the plot.  Other than that, no notes.   

 

Note from Jasmine Gold: As the name of this blog indicates, I write erotica. Check out my dark, dystopian novel about naked sex slaves, Mindgames. Your darkest fantasies, with a phenomenal plot and characters you will come to think of as beloved friends. Available on Kindle and Kindle Unlimited  and in paperback.  Or read my book of short stories about hot, consensual sex, The Mature Woman's Guide to Desire, available on Kindle and Kindle Unlimited.